The Body Language of My Boyfriend's Ex

by Em
(United Kingdom)

Well, it's an interesting one...

My partners ex regularly manages to find things on the floor to pick up when I'm around, when she accompanies my partner in picking up the kids. (perhaps when I'm not there also, but who knows)

So, she bends right over with her butt in his direction and picks up whatever speck from the floor (her flat is messy, plenty specks everywhere!) Accompanied by arm folding when she stands up & faces us again, which pushes her clevage further foreward.. usually giggling.

This has happened almost every time I've been to her flat, which isn't much over 4 yrs, but still at least every other time.

Can't decide. Flirty? Aggressive? Defensive? Mixture of the above?

It's quite funny really, as she has no chance with the flirty, but I'm curious. What do you think?

Our Answer

Hi Em!

Not much to worry about, I think. There are multiple signals that point towards unease on her part. Picking stuff up from the floor, in an attempt to tidy up. Giggling. Folding of arms (a gesture often associated with putting yourself at ease, like a 'self hug').

She may still foster feelings for your boyfriend. But I don't think she's pursuing him. Not with these gestures at least.

Besides, looking at the situation... would you be at ease when your ex-boyfriend, father to your children, shows up with his girlfriend? Wouldn't you compare yourself against her? I'd think so.

Hope this helps. Thanks for asking!